Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Disaster strikes again . . . .

and once again, it's through my own stupidity!

I'm in the throes of reading, and writing my TMA05 still - that is, I'm now 6 days over the posting date, and into yet another extension :(

Due to the effects of my many and varied maladies, and especially the migraines which, while curbed for the moment, still give me the effect of fuzzy eyesight when I'm fighting them off, I had become almost 8 weeks behind in the course :(

Despite all my good intentions in my March 10th post, I've been taking one step forward, and 2 steps back, and yesterday afternoon was a case in point.

This TMA is a double one, with an essay of 3,500 words to write, and with no substitution allowed, which means I really do need to do as best as I can with it. Yesterday, I woke up in the early afternoon, which made a change from the early evening and, as my head was fairly clear, and the fuzziness had left my eyes, I set to on my essay. I'd got as far as 1,385 words, but I saw a direction to go in, so I eagerly started to read a bit, write a bit, read a bit, and write a bit, which is the only way I'm able to do things nowadays.

I'd managed to finish the introduction, the explanations, and the summaries, and I'd really got into discourse structures, linguistic indicators of point of view, and schema refreshment - I was on a roll!

I'd just got to speech and thought representation (anyone who's done E301, will recognise these Short chapters!), and was starting to even understand what I was reading, when the disaster happened. 

I'd got to 2,780 words, and I'd started feeling really tired, and my eyes were fuzzing up again, so I decided to close down all the extra word documents I'd had open for references, and to work out diagrams, when I clicked what I thought was the spare diagram document, and the link came up for 'Yes, No, Cancel' - to save the work.

As I'd copied my diagrams to the Appendices, I clicked 'No', to not save it - and as my finger raised up from doing it, I realized to my horror, that I'd just deleted all the hours and hours of work I'd just written!

Never mind, I thought to myself, my auto-save would have caught a copy, so I'm only bound to have missed a few words!

It didn't.

I phoned computer-savvy friends, I asked in the forums, I contacted everyone I could think of, but there was no go.

By this time I was crying - with anger at myself, and with frustration that I'd let myself get so tired, that I wasn't thinking straight any more. Once I'd phoned a good friend, who calmed me down somewhat, I realised that, yes, I'm going to have to do this all over again tomorrow.

The problem with this, though, is that my memory is so poor, I know I'll never capture those same words and phrases again. What had been a great, and inspirational day of work, was totally wasted :(

I think, beyond anything else, this has shown me just how badly my ailments are affecting me now and, to be honest, I'll truly be grateful to see the back of this course, and the ending of my University life.

But, when later today comes, and I start all over again, this time, I'm making sure I save every single paragraph I write - with copies!

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